God and Mother
I attended a Christian school during my impressionable middle and high school years.
At school, we had a time of prayer every morning and evening.
In Christian prayer, we confessed our mistakes and hesitations and asked God for forgiveness.
As I gazed at the image of Mary holding Christ in her arms, I unconsciously overlapped that image with my mother who died when I was 8, and I gradually began to pray to God and ask for forgiveness from my mother.
In exchange for God’s constant presence with my mother, I lost the memory and touch of her as a flesh-and-blood human being day by day.

Many years later, I got married and had a baby boy.
One day, a little after his first birthday, I suddenly realized that I was not holding him, but he was holding me.
As my son held me, I instantly had the illusion that I was my younger self being held by my mother. It was a special memory, a special warmth that I had not felt in decades.
Each time my son held me in his arms, I was freed from begging forgiveness from my mother, who had become God in my mind long time ago.
After a long time, through my son, I finally felt my real mother in front of me again.

HUG
Hugs
Cuddling is wonderful.
Hugs are fulfilling.
Every time I hold someone in my arms
I get fuller and fuller and fuller